Open My Eyes Lord

This is my new very good friend, Ann aka MiMi. I had the pleasure of her company for almost 4 days while in California. She is Georgeanne's mother. Like they say "the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree" because she and I enjoyed each other just like Georgeanne & I do. I think so many times we miss opportunities for blessings that God has in store for us because we don't take advantage of them. Ann is so fun, smart, "with it", funny....and the list goes on. Rina did not like to share her MiMi so sometimes it was hard to get a word in edge ways, but we managed to build a close friendship in a few short days. Her body reminds her that she is getting older and she moves around slowly, but she is worth the wait. I pray I can always have my mind open to receive the gifts He offers everyday.
I visited June just a couple of hours ago. Remember my aunt who is very actively dying from cancer? Death certainly is not what television portrays it to be. What can I say other than it is just very, very sad to watch. Yet June continues to bless me. Through my tears I fed her ice as she can no longer raise her arms. She never forgot to say please or thank you though it was hard to understand between the moans. She is barely talking but she can manage to ask "Where do we go from here Lord?" I told her today that she was very brave. She said she didn't want to be. Maybe she should have said "I don't mean to be." It's just her, part of her character to never complain. She didn't in life and is proving that she won't in death. Peace be with you sweet June.

There's No Place Like Home

I made it back from California. You guys know I love children, but...on the plane ride back, there was this little red headed baby girl who cried, no screamed the entire three hours. And where did she sit? That's correct, right in front of me. As if plugged up ears aren't bad enough, my head was pounding! However, Rina was a doll and enjoyed her big day. She really didn't care about the presents, but she liked her Elmo cake, I guess because she had been telling me about it all week. Her MiMi came on Wednesday and trimmed some worn overalls for her in red (Elmo colors) that she wore with her Elmo socks. She would have nothing to do with the matching hair clips. When Rina says "no" she means it. She was excited that her friends Sara, T.J. and Parker came as well as a host of others who I don't remember. When we went to Sequoia National Park to see the oldest tree on earth we also saw a bear. I was asking Georgeanne to come get in the picture with me and when I looked over her shoulder I saw a bear. I calmly said "Oh, there's a bear" until I realized that there was nothing between me and the bear except Georgeanne. Then it turned to "There's a BEAR!" Rina talked about the bear the rest of the week. She's never seen her Mommy, Poppy, and NayNay hustle that fast to get in the car. It was a fun week with my dear friend but I was ready to get home. I was greeted with lots of slobber kisses - no, not Steve but the puppy dogs. Then this morning they all busted in bright and early. All four of those little dolls - Reed, Blythe, Blaire & Turner. Of course NayNay had surprises for them all and they stayed occupied long enough for me to finish my coffee before the real work began.

Sunny California

Hey Friends,

I miss blogging, but I'm in Fresno cruisin' round town, looking at the snow topped mountains and shopping. Oh, and did I mention eating fantastic food? It would be easy to eat sensibly in California because everything is so fresh and healthy, but I can't stop. They have Trader Joe's and Whole Foods - how sad is that, I'm bragging about grocery stores. In Longview our fancy is Albertson's. So the olive bar at Whole Foods is a real treat. I have eaten lunch at Panera Bread three days in a row now and I'm sure that I have gained weight. That's why I'm only shopping for my grandbabies who I miss very much. My friend, Georgeanne is a Speech Pathologist so she is working during the day. Friday she is taking off and we are going to the Sequoia National Park. I will attach pictures when I get back home. Rina, Georgeanne's daughter is having her 2nd birthday Saturday and I am making her Elmo cake. My cake is in such demand that she had to fly me in to make it - couldn't break tradition, I made it last year. If it were not for Daddy, MaSue & Pop, Clay, Blake, and Katie, their spouses and the four grandchildren, I know Steve and I, and Bailey, Bubba & Barker could enjoy a lovely retirement right here in Fresno, California. God had other plans, so I will make the most of my little spot on this earth. So, goodbye for now all my Texas friends. I will eat my way back to Longview soon enough.

"You Can't Make Me"

Look at that face. You know what he is thinking? I do. All 9 lbs. of him is saying to himself "You can't make me." Barker is a little dog that I rescued from the humane society. The first time I saw him, I knew I needed to check out this dog. The lady went at him with a towel as he crouched in the corner. He looked more scared than mean, but his attitude came with a little growl. She said "I'm not going to get him out today." Hum, well okay I thought. I'd be scared too if you were trying to throw a towel over my head. Blythe and Reed were with me so I thought it was just as well. However, I don't give up easily, so I went back the next day alone. Still scared, still crouched in the corner, and no one was paying much attention to this little guy. That surprised me because I knew he was a young uncut male Shi-tzu and breeders will watch for this popular breed. They make really cute puppies and unfortunately they sale great at Canton. The second time around it was Saturday, but for some reason the place was less crowded. The lady easily picked up the trembling dog. Once I took Barker from her arms, he held on to me for dear life. He put his head on my shoulder and said "Okay Mommy, let's go home." My only thought was "Steve is going to kill me." Barker made number three on our canine list and Steve has found it pretty futile to put up much of a fight. For a husband who said we would never have a dog in the house, he has done pretty good considering that we have three in our bed. Barker worships me. He sleeps next to my head, sits in my lap for morning coffee and lays down by the bathtub when I soak. I found out later that he was dumped at Birdie Park and it took the dog catcher 3 days to catch him. He is very scared of loud noises, and flinches when you move too fast. Poor Barker. What did they do to you? I love my pound puppy, Barker. He's a sweetie, but stubborn. And he's right. I can't make him do anything he doesn't feel like doing.

God Bless Aunt June

Aunt June went to Margaret's house today. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer about 3 years ago, went through treatment and was declared cancer free, until recently. It came back in September with a vengeance attacking her colon and kidneys. The prognosis was poor so June decided to go the no more treatment route. Beacon Hospice has been treating her at her sister's house since that is her closest relative and she couldn't stay by herself. I have prayed that she would be relatively pain free and handle her...how do I say this...impending death with peace. We felt blessed to have her for Thanksgiving and then it began to look like we would have her for Christmas as well. Thankfully we did. However, it doesn't look like she'll be sharing in the Easter festivities with us. It's funny or sad rather, how you take people in your life for granted as if assuming they will always be there. June has lived in Van, Texas since she was a little girl and everybody knows her. Which really isn't very hard since Van is so small. Small as in one grocery store, one Dollar Store and no Wal-Mart. She was "challenged" while growing up, but did graduate from Van High School which she was very proud of, as were her parents. She never learned to read or write, was very large and couldn't talk plain. She was never fashion conscious, never had a boy friend, never traveled, never drove...there were a whole lot of nevers. As an adult she lived at home with her parents until her father's death and then continued with her mom. She worked in the school cafeteria, went to church, listened to the bible on tapes, helped around the house, played Wahoo with her mother in the evenings, and said her prayers at night. Eventually her mother died, she retired after many, many years in the cafeteria, she went to church, listened to her tapes, cleaned house as little as possible, and said her prayers at night. Sounds kind of boring doesn't it? This is the amazing part. She was, no is, one of the most content people I have ever known. She was so happy with her common ordinary life. And did I mention that she said her prayers at night? When Steve and I first got married, we would go to Van often to spend the night with Mamaw and June. He loved Mamaw's cooking almost as much as he did his mamaw and she certainly loved him, her first grandson. June doted on him too, hugging him constantly and calling him "her little knobhead." Their house was on pier and beams with the old wood floors that resonated every sound. At night, when every one was tugged in to bed with all the "I love you's" (yes, just like The Waltons) June would start to say her prayers...out loud, speech impairment and all. She blessed everybody. Wow, this blew me away. I had never heard such a thing. That was always private when I was growing up. We never talked about God, let alone Jesus! Here June was talking to him, blessing us all and not the least bit embarrassed as it echoed down the hall. Through the years she continued to stand in the gap and be the true prayer warrior. Who can say how life might have been differently had it not been for June's prayers? I know she never forgot to "God bless Clay, Blake & Katie" as they grew up. For that, I am eternally grateful. You know the part about her not joining in our Easter festivities? I can only imagine celebrating the risen Lord with the risen Lord himself!! Now that's a party! A few weeks ago I asked June if there was anything I could do for her to make her more comfortable. She had only one request. "Don't let them forget me" she whispered.

Because He lives I can face tomorrow

Because He lives all fear is gone

Because I know He holds the future

And life is worth the living just because He lives

911 To The Rescue

"NayNay, I need you." No excitement in his voice, just a very calm request. "Okay Reed I'm coming" I replied and slowly made my way in to the playroom. GASP, "What happened Reedster" I ask? At this point he starts this long explanation of exactly how and why he got his head stuck between the burglar bars on what used to be the outside door. However, he was all bent over and having problems with his speech, I couldn't understand him. All I knew was that he appeared stuck, he was calm, and I would be also. "Well, let's see" I surmise. His ears are already red, but I'm thinking it went in and it will come out. First try, no success. "Okay, stand as tall as you can." I thought we would go at it from a different level. Second try, no success. "Well now, don't you worry NayNay will fix it" I assure him. "Let me just get around those ears." Third try, no success. By this time Blythe is giving her reassuring words and Carson (his cousin on Brooke's side) has hustled in to the kitchen to retrieve a sucker for him. Katie comes in and knowing she must be strong for the task at hand, pats Reed on the back and tells him everything is going to be just fine. Nanny (Reed's other grandmother) gives it one look and says "Brooke's gonna die, Brooke's gonna die" knowing she will be here soon to pick him up. I can't believe it, but that head is not budging. I suggest that Nanny drive around the corner to the fire station next to Reed's house and tell them what's going on. Reed is still talking about the situation and how he knows all the firemen, etc. and sucking on his sucker all the while. So far we are okay. Nanny comes right back and says that the firemen and truck are gone. At this point I become more concerned. "Well Katie give me the phone so I can call 911" - what else could I do, right? "911, What is your emergency" the operator asked? "Well, I'm not sure it's an emergency, but my little grandson has his head stuck in the burglar bars and it's not budging, I know..." She interrupts "Stay on the line, please." Oh great, I'm thinking police cars and firetrucks are going to come in like a blaze of glory about the time Brooke pulls up. I continue, "I know the firemen around the corner, but they weren't there." I explain. "I'm sending some help your way M'am." Now it sounds like an emergency. The other children decide that Reed's going to live so they go about their business. Blythe was in the laundry room when Aunt Boo walked in the back door. Blythe's eyes grew big. Boo rounds the corner, takes one look and starts jumping up and down screaming "What are we gonna do, what are we gonna do?" With that, Reed starts to whimper for the first time. I give Brooke "the look" and say, "Oh hi Mommy, we're just waiting for our friends the firemen to get us out." Now she understands that she must stay calm for her son and she starts rubbing Reed's back and telling him that everything will be just fine. The firemen show up (no horns, thank God) and at first glance say "Hey Reed, what's up?" So Reed, all bent over starts his long story of how he got in this predicament. Reed's friends grab a couple of tools and go to work on getting him out. In just a couple of minutes Reed is released from the ugly grip of the bars and escapes unharmed. "I'm sorry I had to call you guys" I apologize." They told me that things go in a lot easier than they come out and they were glad to help. I took a quick head count, thanked God for blessing me with grandchildren and then ushered them away for the day. "Goodbye, no I'll pick up the toys, really goodbye."

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4

The other night I was engaged in a conversation with someone and I innocently said "I take comfort knowing their is a God who watches over me & protects me" wherein Steve said "Everything happens for a reason". All of a sudden it turned in to this debate over Evolution vs Creation, and do you take the bible literally, the different interpetations, etc. We had to get home to feed our babies (dogs) so soon after we left. The next day I just had to e-mail him. I was not through with our conversation and you can probably identify with thinking of all the things you should have said and couldn't think of at the time! So here's the e-mail:
Hey _______, Gee Thanks, I spent half the night thinking about monkeys and "Big Bangs", I started doubting beliefs that have taken me a lifetime to comprehend, yet when I stop trying to comprehend and just believe, I get it. There is a difference. Maybe this is what I was trying to say: So, when you prepare for a trip you pack everything that you are going to need for that particular trip, right? It's like when before you are born God is thinking "Okay, so he is going on this trip, to this place, at this time and this is what he will need" and He packs your bag...just for you with all you will need for your journey and compared to all eternity it is a very short journey. Some people have good trips, bad trips, short trips, long trips, interesting exotic trips, common trips, etc. And even though He equips us, we ultimately determine how we will spend our time; if we glorify God and so forth. His design defines our destiny. I can't wrap my brain around starving children in Africa and tribes who have never heard "the good news." Nor can I begin to understand the great debate of origins, contentions and evidence. You said it didn't make sense, there is no answer, it's not fair, etc. However, in a world so complex with so many questions for our feeble minds, to me it is the only thing that does make sense. Life isn't fair, not to me, not to you, not to the poverty stricken, not to the mentally ill or challenged. God cares more about our character than he does our comfort. In order to make it fair, God sent his son (or himself - don't get me started on the Trinity) a perfect being with no faults, no sins and sacrificed Him so that if we belief (not understand) we get the prize. I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, I HAVE FINISHED THE COURSE, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH - 2 Timothy, you know the one. I love that verse. God never called you to be anyone other than you. So don't think about the starving children, not that you were (it's depressing anyway.) God will make a way where there seems to be no way in the life of each one. Love, Judy
Do I get an Amen??

"It's Just A June Bug"

One evening before Christmas, Kate & I made a late night run to Target, which is always fun. When we got home I asked her to come out to our storage bldg. to see the present we got Turner. So, we traipse across the yard. Before going in I kicked at the door - after all, it is dark and who knows what kind of varmint could be hiding out just to scare me. The coast was cleared so we entered, stayed a minute and crossed the yard again before going into the kitchen. Kate kept scratching her head and talking about a student having lice so she decided that I should check her head, which I promptly did (as any mother would.) All of a sudden she does this jerking move and grabbed the front of her p.j. pants saying it felt like something was crawling on her leg. With that, we laughed thinking she was getting freaked out about the whole lice check. Then, it went to the next level. "Something's crawling up my leg!" she screamed and the only way I can describe her move is to compare it with Kramer on the Seinfield show. She's jerkin' and jumpin' and grabbin' the back of her pants. "It's in my hand!, It's in my hand!" So whatever she has is in her pants, but she has grabbed it, material and all. Like her brother, Clay (or I should say that he is like me) I remain cool under pressure. "Okay, let me have it, now I'll just take a look" and by this time I'm thinking whatever I am crunching in my hand seems kind of big. "Oh Katie, it's just a June bug." I calmly manage to say. "Just slip your pants off and I'll take it outside", which she took no time in doing. Then I go "Now that you have them off, I can tell you that it's about a 2 inch cockroach." She's jumpin' around the kitchen in her panties and squealing like a little girl. I tried not to laugh because I HATE those things and certainly would not want one near my leg. I'm glad I had that bladder surgery or I would have peed in my pants. I washed her p.j. pants, but I don't think she's ever worn them again. I am proud to say that I remained calm under pressure and managed to keep the truth from her until after she had gotten out of her pants. So there is a moral to this story: When the stresses of life get you down, or things just aren't going your way remember... it's just a June bug."

Ms. Nellie

Ms. Nellie died last week. She was 86 years old and my sweet friend. The last year and a half she has lived in a nursing home. A nice nursing home as far as that situation goes. Her daughters would only have what was best for their momma. A private room with her chair, a microwave (so she could have hot meals), a small refrigerator, a television for Oprah... And her door was always decorated, pictures up of her two grandchildren, cards from friends arranged in a basket. Her favorite candies readily available, fresh flowers on occasion, clean and cozy socks, warm coverlets that Cathy made. As well as clean and neat clothes hanging in the closet with her hamper ready to catch anything dirty. All the comforts of home, right? Yes, but only if it was home and of course, it wasn't. She never really complained or begged to leave. I think she knew that was no longer an option. Also, I don't believe she wanted her girls to carry the burden of thinking she was miserable. Getting older, really older has got to suck. Your mind or body fails you. In the case of Ms. Nellie it was her body. She was so t-tiny and became very frail. She fell once and then again. Walking was a real effort and she would stumble. Before all that, before she got bad, she would make me coffee. It was the best coffee. She peculated it on the stove. "When the water starts to boil, let it brew for 5 minutes" I remember her saying. She would set the timer, ever so meticulous in her kitchen tasks. She gave me her perculator, insisting I take it. I thanked her immensely, then promptly called Cathy knowing I could never keep it from her daughters. They too insisted I have it. I cherish that old pot along with her tea recipe in her own handwriting. Death always brings regrets and so did hers. I wish I had visited her more, I wish I had given more of myself and I wish I had one more coffee break with my friend Ms. Nellie.

"My Baby Be Okay, NayNay"

This afternoon we were outside "loading them up" when a helicopter flew over. Brooke said "Look Blaire Bear. You rode in one of those". I think chills went down my spine as I remembered our little space cadet strapped down in her capsule getting ready for her emergency ride to Shreveport. It's been almost 2 years now, since so many were praying for her recovery. She was such a little thing propped up on that pillow in the hospital bed at Good Shepherd. Wheezing from RSV with her little chest contracting, who knew that in minutes her life would be on the line. Brooke has the kinest sense when it comes to her babies. The nurses all thought she was overreacting, but before I could argue on her behalf, little Blaire had turned as purple as the dress she had on. Boy, that got their attention. Orders were being announced over the intercom and crash carts were wheeled in. A collapsed lung and pneumonia on an 8 pounder! The Gillentine/Clay clan all showed up to support her in her send off. Schumpert Children's Hospital was very impressive and Blaire had the best nurses and doctors. The kids were able to secure a hospitality room down the hall which was such a blessing. Reed, who was 3 at the time, was able to come and go with NayNay closely behind. I think his presence gave his mommy comfort. On one of our trips back to Longview to grab a few more things, I walked in Blaire's room. I was just standing there quietly looking around. Little Reed came up from behind me, slipped his hand in mine and said "My baby be okay, NayNay." Peace washed over me and I knew in that second that yes, she would be healed and everything would be okay. From the mouths of babes, God is good.

Forever His Little Girl

This is Day 4 of Daddy getting new floors and he is getting quite cranky. His carpet was at least 30 years old and beyond cleaning. When I suggested that he get new floors, he was all for it. We talked about it everyday...about how he would come to my house to get out of the way, etc. Day 1 I went to pick him up and he said "Where we goin'?" When I mentioned the new floors he acted like he had never heard of the idea. He kept saying "Why in the hell could you not have waited for me to die before you done all this?" I tried to explain that I was doing it for him and not to him. You would think we were extracting teeth or something by the way he is acting. They still need to put down the molding which is not a big deal but it is to him. Forever his little girl, I feel like I'm in trouble when he starts fussing and I don't like to be in trouble. It's hard when the roles reverse and you must parent the parent. "Hold on Daddy, they're almost through."

"I got knocked up"

Today Blythe and I were coloring together while T-man was napping. "NayNay, you want to color the tittys"? she asked. I said "What baby"? "You want to color the tittys"?, and she turned to a page that had kittys on it. Too cute - it reminded me of last week when she said, "NayNay, I got knocked up". "What"?! I froze. "I got knocked up" she repeated. She and Reed were playing a game with dogs that got locked up in their dog houses. Her speech is getting better all the time as Katie reminds her of the different sounds like "k" and "l". She is so smart and loves to learn and do projects with her mommy. Time with her is passing so quickly and soon she will be in school. I pray she can be a child as long as possible while I enjoy her sweet innocence.